(Tim, his partner and Advocacy & Engagement Lead pictured here at the Canadian Cancer Survivor Network Charity Golf Tournament last summer.)
I have always felt great about helping others out. Throughout my life I had no problem jumping into action when a family member or friend needed assistance. This has led me to numerous jobs in the customer service industry, allowing me to continue to help people.
It wasn’t until my wife was diagnosed with a severe form of lupus that I truly started to understand what the term ‘caregiver’ really meant.
It is more than just helping with an isolated problem. It is the willingness to take responsibility for the care and well-being of another person, while respecting that person’s dignity and needs.
Caregiving can take many forms.
The person may need help with physical tasks such as bathing, dressing, and taking medications or day-to-day practical tasks like cooking, cleaning, or transportation.
The person may need help with managing their health needs through administering medication, attending appointments or monitoring their symptoms for any irregularities.
The person may need help with emotional support and look to you for comfort and reassurance.
The person may need help with advocating for themselves when dealing with the general public or health care providers.
Or they may need help with all of it…
This is why being a caregiver is such an important role in the lives of those who need it. Successful caregiving can provide a sense of purpose and personal growth for the caregiver, while boosting confidence, independence and deepening relationships for those who require care.
Depending on your situation, you likely didn’t start out caregiving with patience, empathy, and emotional strength. I know I didn’t. I just knew that I loved my partner and would do what ever it took to help. That is an important first step….committing to help, regardless of the context.
You will gain rewards and encounter challenges while acting as a caregiver.
My emotional IQ has grown by leaps and bounds. Thinking about WHAT are my partners needs, and HOW best to meet those needs for HER has become a catalyst for strengthening our relationship and increasing our trust in each other.
It has also provided me with a deep sense of purpose and meaning that helping others in my previous customer service roles could never bring. Seeing her smile on a daily basis is reward enough for me and helps me keep motivated to continue to provide care, strength and understanding, even when times are hard.
Being a caregiver can also come with its challenges.
There is an emotional strain that comes with caregiving as you might not feel you can provide the right type or amount of care that is truly needed for an individual. I know I have felt this way at times over the years with my partner. There have been moments I have felt very guilty for not being able to help more..to remove more burden from my partner’s life…to just, do more. Try to be as realistic about each situation you can, and understand that the goal is consistent long-term assistance, not trying to fix every little issue.
There may be a financial burden to taking on the role of a caregiver depending on if you need to alter or leave existing employment.
Sometimes trying to strike a balance between your own needs and the needs of those in your care can be difficult. It is important that you do not lose your identity to being a caregiver only, as the emotional toll can lead to burnout.
If you do not take care of yourself, then eventually you won’t be able to care of the important people in your life who depend on you.
Do not be afraid to ask for help. We all need help sometimes and that includes caregivers. Lean on your family and friends. They can be an invaluable source of comfort and emotional support during difficult times.
—- Written by: Tim Marnoch
Director of Customer Care and Services
Cancer Fatigue Services
